I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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