You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
