I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
