I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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