I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Randomize
