I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I need moral support for this bender
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
