Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
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