the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
