A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
birth control should be required to get into college
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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