her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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