bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
