but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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