Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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