Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
