he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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