pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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