it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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