stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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