I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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