Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I pour the whiskey from now on
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
