he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
