Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
