I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
