I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
