I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Randomize
