actually, I'm a sock model
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
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