I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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