i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Randomize
