I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
