You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I hate your face
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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