so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
