i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize