After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize