was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
