I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
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