im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
