I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Randomize
