So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
