Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
