Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
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