marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
