but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize