I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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