She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
