I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
