how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
