Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
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