And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I wish I only lived at night.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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