You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
