you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Randomize
