so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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