oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
