i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
