you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
