Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Another day, another engagement, another cat
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Randomize
