you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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